


My Three Great Loves: The Stars, The Sea, And You

by WintersCatch



Category: Original Work
Genre: Childhood Friends, Drunken Confessions, Falling Apart, Gen, Late Night Conversations, Stars, They talk about stars, but I know shit about stars, but not back together, friends to strangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29424807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WintersCatch/pseuds/WintersCatch
Summary: "Nothing's fine and it never will be because you're gone and you're fine and you don't care. You've already moved on and have a new life on your own. You're not even sorry. You couldn't care less. I'm too much for work, you have to deal with so much ‘cause of me. You got new friends and found out you didn't need me anymore. If I died you wouldn't even care, you would never even know. You would never reach out to me, would never wonder why I haven't tried talking! Probably even be glad I stopped bothering you!"
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	My Three Great Loves: The Stars, The Sea, And You

**Author's Note:**

> My first time posting something on AO3 so lets see how this goes lmao
> 
> This is just a snippet of a conversation between two ocs, but its just a small part of their story. Depending on how this goes (and how much my friends bully me about it, you know who you are), I might write more and maybe even finish.
> 
> Give me critique! I always want to be a better writer so tell me which parts you think could be fixed lol

He was lying on the deck of the boat, the waves rocking him like a cradle but the chill kept him from falling asleep. It was freezing, but he got used to the cold over his time here. It was always cold, but that wasn't what caused the ache. A bone-deep ache, a clawing in his chest, and a pit on his stomach that wasn't just from the alcohol. That was why he pulled out his phone, he told himself, the beer.

" _Hello?_ " She was mad, which was reasonable considering it was late here, let alone the time difference, " _this better be important._ "

"O' course 'm important," he said with slurred words. Must be obvious cause there was a long, slow sigh on the other end.

" _You're drunk, aren't you?_ "

"Jus’ wanted to talk…"

More painful silence. It never used to be like this. They always had things to talk about, and when they didn't feel like talking, the silence never _hurt_.

" _What do you want._ " Was she less mad now? She sounded resigned. Or maybe like she was falling asleep 

"I miss you."

" _You always do._ "

That's right, he had forgotten. It was never ' _I miss you too_ ' or ' _then come over_ ' any more. He was too drunk for this. He couldn't control what he was saying.

"More than jus’ missing you. I miss talking all the time."

" _You know I'm b_ usy." How can someone be that busy though? Not a single second to reply to any texts or a short phone call?

"I feel like I'm missing something."

" _Probably lost it cause you're dr_ unk." It's not a joke. It's serious and irritated.

"Not that. Not something physical." He waits. No smart ass comment, no teasing. Silence. "Like… a piece of my soul was taken out. And now there's a big hole that just keeps spilling out and it won't just heal. I'm always drowning in it. It's a cut down to my very core and I have to just pretend I'm _fine_ , that everything is _fine_ and it's _not._

"Nothing's fine and it never will be because you're gone and you're _fine_ and you don't _care._ You've already moved on and have a new life on your own. You're not even _sorry_ . You couldn't care less. I'm too much for _work_ , you have to deal with _so_ much ‘cause of me. You got new friends and found out you didn't need me anymore. If I died you wouldn't even care, you would never even _know_ . You would never reach out to me, would never wonder why I haven't tried talking! Probably even be _glad_ I stopped bothering you!"

He was yelling at this point. But he wasn't mad, just… sad. Grieving. Because this thing they used to have is dead. This was it. After this conversation, they wouldn't talk anymore so he might as well say everything he needed to say because there would be no one to tell after this. 

But she was silent. Because she didn't have anything more to say. Didn't for a long time now.

So he continued. Anything to lengthen the first real conversation they had in months. And when they had nothing to talk about, they could always talk about the stars.

"I can see Mars right now, from where I'm sitting. And Aries, Taurus, basically all of them, really. You should come visit sometime, the sky is always so bright. There's hardly any light pollution out here. I never have to spend hours driving out in the desert just to get a good view! Not that I hated those trips. They were always fun cause you were there.

"Remember that time when your car broke down? We got _so_ mad at each other while we waited for your dad to pick us up. I thought we were going to die out there. I thought _you_ were gonna kill me with how pissed off you were. I was mad you still hadn't apologized to me for yelling, but you invited me to go back once your car was fixed. That was basically an apology though. Even if you don't like saying it, you always showed it."

He kept pausing. Waiting for the voice to say ' _can you see Andromeda too?_ ' or ' _I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at myself_ '. Maybe even ' _during my next break, I'll come up and visit. I would love to look at the stars with you again'_ and that would be an apology. They would go back to talking in every second they had free, not hold back any thoughts or secrets no matter how weird. It would go from ' _her and me_ ' back to ' _us_ '.

But there was just more silence

There was no reason to wait for an apology. For begging that this not be the end. There was nothing more for them beyond this.

"I loved you. Not anymore. But I did."

No reply.

"I think it was in Junior year? When your dad was getting married, we had been talking about his wedding. You said something about how you wanted something like they had. My first thought was ' _don't you already have me'_ ? That's when I realized it was love. Romantic love. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives forever. That I was it for you. Never considered it could even be one-sided. We were destined. Even when we started talking about what colleges we would go to, everyone said people drift apart when they go to college. I thought ' _not us_ '. Never us. But it happened anyway.

"Was it me? Was I too needy? Talked too much, wanted too much attention? I was just trying to stop us from falling apart, but I think it was too much and in the end, I only pushed you away. Should I have pulled back when you stopped replying to every message? You could have always told me to stop if I was being too annoying. You were never afraid to say that before."

More silence, before…

" _You done?_ "

"I'll miss you."

" _Yeah. Bye_."

"Bye _."_

The phone beeped as she hung up.


End file.
